


history is like gravity

by feyluke



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Childhood, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, M/M, Pre-Thor (2011), i think this ends right before thor goes and attacks jotenhiem lmao what an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 22:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7125034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feyluke/pseuds/feyluke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: “Only after the third attempt had he become unhinged.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	history is like gravity

**Author's Note:**

> i was gonna make the three attempts be loki attempting to kill thor but then i decided to be happy instead and make the three attempts loki trying to kiss thor (: and in the end i didn’t really follow the prompt at all, so.

when you are not even the age of ten, everyone loves to pat you on the shoulder and tell you how tall you are for your age. how brave you will be; how you will make your father proud.

when they turn to loki, who is reserved and quiet and close to your side, they ruffle his hair and _my, how small this one is!_ is left unsaid.

either they choose not to acknowledge loki’s scowl, or they are not paying attention.

 

you’d never tell him this, but: you like how small your brother is.

he can sneak into places much easier than you. while you talk with the cooks and sample fresh sauces–the cooks beaming with their young prince’s approval–loki snatches loaves of fresh garlic bread, sacks of deep red wine, and soft buttery sugar cookies.

back in his room, the two of you spread the food out on the floor like a feast, adrenaline and smug satisfaction pumping through your veins. you make toasts to bravery and cunning and rip apart bread and dunk it into goblets of wine as though you have defeated the ogre clans to the north.

wine is served at every meal for all ages, but the wine loki steals from the kitchen while you post as the diversion tastes lighter and sweeter. it tastes like comradery and brotherhood and teamwork. it tastes like what you think loki’s smile might taste like; the smile that reaches his eyes when you please him.

it’s all the sweeter when he tries to feed you pieces of bread, putting pieces between his teeth and moving closer like a mother bird to its young.

you laugh, plucking the bread from his teeth with your fingers, and throw it back at him.

 

in sparring matches, you and loki are already an unbeatable team.

the opponent team, whether they be made of one or five other young peers, always looks to you as the threat. it’s like they don’t even see loki. he’s a runt, small and unassuming; he doesn’t pose a threat until he slips between legs and swords like a shadow and cuts others down at the knees while you throw the leader down by the throat.

alone, you can already take three of your peers at once.

with loki by your side, it feels like you can take on all of asgard.

 

it’s after these sparring matches that you and loki like to sneak food from the kitchen, well past childhood and much too far into your teen years.

odin blusters and blows wind about stolen food, but nothing ever comes of it, and you stop feeling guilty and listen to loki’s reassurances. you flirt with the cooks; you’ll flirt with vali if it pleased loki.

after all, you don’t take much convincing. you’ll pretty much go for anything that makes loki’s eyes light up or back straighten. anything that makes him come back into focus. while you like to use your strength, loki likes to use his wit. nothing makes loki come into focus like taking from someone right in front of them.

you’d help him steal souls from hel if he asked you to, as long as it made him smile.

 

no one pays loki attention.

not really, not in ways that count - but you always thought you saw him. you thought you paid attention and you thought that was enough.

the truth is, you didn’t notice how loki hated being smaller.

to you, smaller meant quicker, faster. it meant strength and skill that was equal to yours because it was different.

it meant that you and loki completed an equation.

you didn’t notice how he equated smaller with _less than_.

 

more importantly, you were stupid to think your opinion was all that mattered. arrogant and selfish.

you valued the opinions of your peers; why would loki–even with his determination to be different–be different?

 

there were a lot of things you didn’t notice.

when your father fired all of the kitchen staff for stealing food from the kitchen because no one would step forward, you refused to continue steal food. it wasn’t fun anymore; it had become damaging and dishonest.

when you told loki to stop being so selfish, you were telling yourself as well. you didn’t see it as judgement or rejection.

you didn’t see how it curled loki further inwards and added another notch to his tally of _less than._

 

when you are a man, you exist (almost) without loki.

strangely, bizarrely, miraculously.

you are thor, crown prince of asgard. you are not thor, son of odin. you are not thor, brother of mischief-maker loki. you are not thor, second or equal to anyone else’s reputation–you are _thor_ , the future king of asgard.

you feel as though you could defeat all of asgard and its enemies on you own; you feel as though you could storm down the icy halls of hel and unite the realms of the dead and the living against all laws of nature.

and it’s a feeling that is as empowering as it is lonely.

in your childhood and teens, loki was the centre. he was the person you looked to first; the person you depended on. you were aware, distinctly, that you were his centre, as well.

as he slowly pulled away, you let him.

complacent. quiet.

you let him drift further and further until you no longer take notice of the things you never took notice of anyway.

 

[just before] it all falls to shit:

he whispers in your ear: “there is no one greater, more brave, than you.”

and you are burning, crashing, run up against a wall. never before has your father rebuked you, made you feel like dirt beneath his feet. never before have you felt hindered - never before have you been told: _no._

when loki breathes _yes_ against your lips, you smile and laugh, pull away, and have never felt more confident. you feel larger than life. you feel big and powerful and with loki’s support you are **thor, god of thunder.**

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on [tumblr](http://feyluke.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
